Sex toys are not just for masturbation or for single people, and every relationship can benefit from them – whether the couple have a healthy sex life or are going through a dry period or things are getting a little boring.
This is because sex toys should not be seen as a replacement, but as a way to mix things up and experiment with new types of sensation. Sex can be as exciting as you choose, and exploring what feels good doesn’t signify anything is wrong with the relationship.
If anything, it signifies that you are in a good relationship where you can be open and honest about your sexual desires, and discover new erotic ways to make each other feel really good.
Unfortunately, there can still be a stigma around sex toys, with some thinking they stem from bad performance, are embarrassing or that sex will never be as good after using them.
All of this could not be further from the truth, and sex toys should instead be viewed as a super tool to make the incredible act of sex EVEN BETTER. So how do you approach it and hopefully make it happen?
Start with the positives here. It won’t harm anyone here to make your partner feel like a superhero, as it is commonly known that some feel threatened by the prospect of a sex toy being involved in sexual activities. Explain that your partner does things that no sex toy could do, and the same applies the other way, so together it could be an amazing experience for you both.
If you have specific reasons you want to add a sex toy, for example you are finding it difficult to orgasm from intercourse alone, and want some added clitoral attention, or as a guy you struggle to maintain an erection, be honest about your end goal so that your partner can see this as productive, and should they care about your pleasure, they will jump at the chance to see you really enjoying yourself.
If you’re struggling to even bring the topic up, you could tell your partner that your saw something in an article or on TV that you thought sounded interesting, and wondered if they’d be up for trying it.
Your partner might have reservations, and you should listen to these without getting annoyed or frustrated, instead offering solutions and addressing their concerns with care.
Using sex toys together obviously needs to be consensual, so never pull out a toy from under the bed as a surprise, as it could go down like a lead balloon. Ensure that both parties are fully comfortable with the idea before proceeding.
Buy it together
Suggest buying a vibrator/cock ring/bondage kit together, either perusing the internet together or going into a shop. You don’t have to start with the biggest, veiniest toy, it is actually advisable to start smaller and see how you both enjoy it – there is plenty of time to branch out later.
Smaller toys will also be less threatening to a beginner in the sex toy world, and will be less likely to intimidate a guy who feels like a toy could replace him.
Laugh about it and enjoy the shared experience, it is important not to take yourselves too seriously, and to find the toy that will benefit your sex life and both of you. You can start by browsing LoveWoo’s sex toys for couples.
Use the toy
So you talked it through, and found the toy which you’re both hoping will change your sex lives. Firstly, don’t put too much pressure on it, and do not expect miracles overnight, these things can take time, practice, and an element of comfortability.
One tip is to introduce the toy during a sensual massage. Get your partner relaxed and moaning with pleasure and then when you’re both ready, move it to your erogenous zones (lower).
If you’re using a vibrator, take turns experimenting with different hot spots on each other’s bodies, always communicating and checking things feel good throughout.
The best indicator of sexual satisfaction doesn’t even happen during sex, but it’s how long you cuddle for afterwards. Keep the emotional support prevalent to ensure your partner feels that the sex is not just about orgasming and about your new toys, but about the closeness you share together.
So there we have it, introducing sex toys to the bedroom and sharing new experiences can dramatically increase your chances of reaching orgasm, add spice and excitement to your relationship and ultimately bring you closer.